Avoiding the Reflection

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Beginning each day, knowing that I am heading to a job, that does not bring me most joy is emotionally exhausting.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being an instructional coach, but it’s just not enough.  I miss the kids . . . I miss the parents . . . I miss watching the magic happen . . . I miss seeing the wonder . . . I miss making a difference . . . I miss the R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P.S!  

Tomorrow morning, as I am getting ready for school, I will once again avoid my reflection in the mirror.  I don’t even recognize the person staring back at me . . . it is certainly not the woman I thought I would become.

 

 

Published by georgiaaustin1

Wife, Mother, Dog Lover, Elementary Assistant Principal excited to write

12 thoughts on “Avoiding the Reflection

  1. I got to teach reading groups and do instructional coaching which kept me going. But even then I missed the community of my own self-contained classroom.
    Now that I’m retired, I go to a friend’s classroom and hang out with kids two mornings a week, because it is great to know them. They warm my heart and amaze me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s good to recognize and validate our emotions. Teaching as changed over time. I hope tomorrow brings a small moment with a glimpse of joy. Maybe change something small in your day – pick up a cup of tea, visit with a friend, read your favorite picture book to students.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I read your post and connected with the first sentence. My situation though is a very different but still feeling like sometimes I’ve lost the joy. I do try ti remeber that even these rough patches serve us a purpose, even if it’s just for discovering what we really don’t want. I’m sure you’ll pull through, hang in there, in time you’ll look back at this time with pride and appreciation (that’s what I try to tell myself to make me feel better and keep the hope). Thank you for sharing this honest post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s so interesting to read this because I am a classroom teacher who has been yearning for a change and kind of wishing an instructional coaching position would become available. I am exhausted from the daily effort to teach every subject to 23 kids- differentiating everything, dealing with emotional issues, not enough time to create, plan, assess….often feel like I’m drowning at work. So it’s nice to remember that there are a lot of beautiful things about being with the kids each day and having my own community. I am so sorry you are unhappy. I hope you give yourself grace. I hope you look at yourself in the mirror and see all the beauty there is. Have you read Girl Wash Your Face? I loved it and really love what Rachel Hollis shares. Her new book is Girl, Stop Apologizing and it’s one I need to read too. Wishing you better days.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ah, Georgia.. my heart breaks with “I will once again avoid my reflection in the mirror.” This says a lot, and it took a lot for you to say it. Publicly.

    I feel this way about teaching sometimes, and I know a lot has to do with collaboration in my grade level. I will be the one who has to do something about it, otherwise.. yeah, no mirror looking for me, very soon, and then I’ll know it’s time for a change. I can’t keep doing that to myself.

    You are beautiful and wonderful, no matter what. Please don’t let the doldrums of the job define you.

    .. thinking of you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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